So I’m 7 months in. I’m out of the blackhole that is the first 2 months. I am not really sleeping solidly through the night, but we’ll get there, maybe in ten years. Regardless of sleep or lack thereof, I thought it important to clarify any misconceptions you may have from my previous posts as most have focused on the hilarity or challenges of parenting. While there continues to be many moments of hilarity and challenge, it’s not all bad (I swear). If it was, why would people keep having kids? Well, I guess because people won’t ever stop having sex. Moving on…
So what’s so good about it? Apart from spending long mornings in your pyjamas and “sexy” robe? Well, let me tell you:
- Spending long mornings in your pyjamas and sexy lumberjack robe. That is a major perk of being on mat leave, but it’s also a necessity when sleep continues to be the elusive beast that it is. I’m sure the tow truck man (our car decided not to start) really enjoyed my morning ensemble yesterday…perhaps the breast milk stain really got him going, I’ll never know.
- Not bathing. What a perk. You are no longer required to shower on a daily basis (even though you should because you are regularly barfed and pooped on), put on makeup, do your hair (not that I did this before), or put on clothes other than your sexy robe.
- Hearing your baby giggle. It trumps everything. It makes the world freeze and your soul sing. And you’ll do anything, anything to get them to giggle again. Whether doing jump squats to “scare” your baby on the change table or chanting “kwazzzzzzy cupcakes” (I was watching Brooklyn 99 at the time. Stop. Turn on Netflix. Watch it now) over and over, you’ll do it.
- Eating just about anything your heart desires. Breastfeeding, while sometimes inconvenient and uncomfortable (especially in those early days), is a great calorie burner. No, you are no longer required to shed those pesky lbs. by eating a balanced diet or hitting the gym, you can simply eat carbs and, more carbs. Should you? Maybe not. Will you? Yes. Oh yes.
- You have a hiatus from your monthly friend. But, to all the ladies out there, do not misconstrue this to mean you cannot conceive. If you want to avoid the dreaded Irish twins, ensure you’re being safe and adhering to the ever-appreciated advice of your high school phys-ed teacher. Abstinence. Or condoms work too.
- Your baby’s smile when they see you in the morning. It may have been a night from the depths of hell, and you may not really like your baby at the moment, but the smile that alights their face upon seeing you in the morning is a serious heart-melter.
- Everyday is Friday. This means you can go out mid-week for dinner with friends and drink like a fish. Well, not a fish seeing as you may have to breastfeed later on, but you can definitely imbibe a wee bit more than you normally would on a weeknight. Yeehaw. This wild night, however, will promptly end at 9 PM when you need to come home and sleep immediately. You never know when the baby beast will awaken. And you need your sleep. You need it so bad.
- You’re raising a human and it feels awesome. It’s pretty rad to have incubated, birthed, and to now be raising a tiny human; a human who will one day think independently, drive, vote, and love (among many other things). It’s also freaking scary, but this is a positive themed post so we will ignore this thought.
- People will love and spoil you (as they should). Never have I experienced the generosity, love, care and concern that I have experienced since having a child. My family, old friends, and new momma friends have all helped me to adjust to maternity leave in such a beautiful and honest way and have undoubtedly helped me to maintain sanity (questionable). Seriously, people are awesome.
- My daughter’s love for me is out of this world. It’s big sloppy chin sucks, hair pulls, laughs, smiles from across the room, snuggles in the morning, farts on my leg, loving glances, and so much more. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the sleep in the world.
There are many more positives, but the list is long enough and you get the picture. Babies are hard. Like, the hardest thing ever. They cry (so much), whine, spit up, hit, pull hair, bite, get hurt, poop, adult-style vomit, ruin clothes, furniture and basically your entire house. But they are also magic. They smile (so much), giggle, belly-laugh, roll, play with toys and you, talk, coo, gurgle, eat new things, laugh again, snuggle, hug, kiss, and love.
Seriously, it’s not all bad.